Last time, we let everyone know our plans. We're packing up... We're moving. We don't know where, we don't really know when we are going to settle down.
And if you remember, at the end of the last post, I mentioned I was going to be giving my notice.
This was something that I had definitely been contemplating for a while. I didn't know how exactly to go about it. I wasn't sure if I should just give two weeks, or if I should give them a month of notice, or more.
I consulted with friends, I got a variety of opinions that I trust.
Some said, "Fuck 'em, give them two weeks. You'd be lucky if they returned the favor."
Others said, "Be professional and let them have a chance to replace you."
Well, I settled somewhere in the middle. I decided to give notice exactly 1 month prior to my leaving.
But, I already had approval for a week long trip during that 4 week period. The week long trip to ride my bike across the great state of Iowa.
When it came time for my 1:1, I had run the scenario over and over in my head.
"Were they going to walk me out that day?"
"Were they going to just say, don't worry about it? Leave before your trip."
All these things just kept running through my mind. And there it was, the moment of truth, so I just let it rip:
"How's it going? What's been going on this week?"
"So, I'm leaving."
"What? Where are you going?"
"I'm taking a sabbatical, I'm not going anywhere. Except across the country and then to Europe for a while. I know I have the week trip planned, so I can leave before that if you need me to."
"Don't worry about that. Tell me more about your plans."
And that was it. What I had been fearing and fretting over for weeks was over. The end. My boss asked for some time to tell the executive team, before I spread the word. And that was that. Super Anti climatic. No perp walk out the door, no screaming, no tears. Nothing, but a casual conversation.
I'm one of the only people that does data engineering and BI at my company, but over the course of the last 3 weeks, I've been basically put into a consulting role, to allow other people to back fill my position.
They've opened up 3 positions to cover for me (which tells me I was drastically underpaid). But, they've also allowed for some other folks to learn and fill in where they can.
All this is to say I made this out to be a huge deal in my head but expectations rarely meet up with reality.
Your Imagination Will Drive You Crazy
Let's try something.
Imagine the last time your spouse wasn't at home when you got home. No warning, just wasn't there when you expected them.
What happened? What starts going through your mind?
Did someone grab them? Are they in trouble? Are they hurt? Are they cheating on you?
Your imagination runs rampant, and you start thinking about all the most extreme cases you can possibly come up with.
This isn't to say that those extremes never happen, but it is to say, that the likely hood is that they stepped out to grab some ice cream and thought they would be back before you got home.
Our imagination is funny that way. We default to imagining extremes.
Ever buy a lottery ticket?
We all know mathematically that we won't win. And yet, the first thing you do before you even stick it in your pocket is spend the $100 million.
There are countless studies that say that happiness is how closely reality matches your expectations, for better or worse.
I can speak from experience, I was imagining all the worst that could happen when I gave my notice. And it just didn't come to fruition.
Just two weeks ago, I was nervous and terrified about riding my across the state of Iowa in 7 days in the heat and the rain, and you know what? It sucked at times, but it didn't suck nearly as much as I made it out to be in my head.
So, there is some trepidation in us as we embark on this new journey. I think it's going to be awesome, but at the same time, I'm nervous. (The Market shitting it's pants right before we take off is always a good feeling!!)
So what do we do about it?
A while ago on this blog we talked about Stoicism and how it helps to find that situations are neither good nor bad, it's our emotional reactions to those events that cause our anxiety.
So, when I find myself giving in to my "catastrophising" self, I have to remember to think calmly, and logically.
I have to take a deep breath and think logically. Start looking around, trust in the fact that I've made it this far. And just given that, the odds are I'll make it further.
Regardless of the best or worst case scenario I can imagine, chances are it probably won't be either, it will be right in the middle somewhere.
So how do you cope when your imagination runs wild?